Mama Shrink

Being 11, An Interview with Thomas Hawver

In this episode, I sat down with my son, Thomas, to discuss what it's like to be an 11-year-old in a world that's constantly changing. We covered various topics, from school and family dynamics to sibling relationships and personal experiences.

 

We started by discussing Thomas's experience in fifth grade, a year he described as one of the most challenging in his life. The difficulty wasn't just with schoolwork but also the changing dynamics in his relationships with friends and teachers. He highlighted how school had become less fun, with fewer parties and more demanding academic work.

 

Another highlight of the conversation was the book Thomas wrote, "Clay's Wild Adventure." He explained how he wrote it for his younger brother, Lucas, who had thoroughly enjoyed the story. Thomas shared that his motivation for writing the book stemmed from his own experience with social anxiety, as he hoped to help other kids going through similar challenges.

 

In our conversation, we explored Thomas's experience in fifth grade, the changing dynamics of school, and the importance of interactive teaching methods. We also discussed his summer activities, including playing the saxophone and writing a book to help kids with social anxiety.

 

Key Takeaways:

 

• Engaging teaching methods can enhance the school experience for students.
• Teachers have the power to influence a child's love for learning.
• Sibling relationships are a blend of challenges and special connections.

 

Resources:

Dr. Cynthia Hauver's website: drcynthiah.com and you can find me on the socials @dr.cynthiahawver

The Power of Female Friendships

In this podcast episode, I reflect on my experiences with female friendships and mastermind groups and how they've shaped my life. I begin by recounting a particularly challenging period in my life, losing my mother and stepfather within six months and the cathartic experience of eulogizing them in a joint funeral. It was a moment of realizing the importance of deep connections with women.

 

Next, I discuss the benefits of joining high-level women's groups, emphasizing the power of support, networking, collaboration, accountability, diverse perspectives, skill development, emotional well-being, increased confidence, and personal growth. These groups have provided me with invaluable encouragement and have been instrumental in boosting my self-esteem and confidence.

 

The key lesson from this episode is that surrounding yourself with like-minded, high-achieving women can be a catalyst for personal and professional growth. The right group offers support, accountability, diverse perspectives, and opportunities for skill development, leading to increased self-confidence and emotional well-being.

 

Key Takeaways:

 

• Female friendships and mastermind groups can have a profound impact on personal and professional growth.
• Support, encouragement, and accountability within these groups are essential for self-improvement.
• Diverse perspectives and skill development opportunities in these groups foster creativity and problem-solving.
• Joining a high-level women's group can lead to increased self-confidence and emotional well-being.
• Surrounding yourself with like-minded women can be a catalyst for personal growth and empowerment.

 

Resources:

Dr. Cynthia Hauver's website: drcynthiah.com and you can find me on the socials @dr.cynthiahawver

Reparenting Ourselves

In this episode, I delve into the crucial topic of reparenting ourselves, a process that involves healing and nurturing our inner child to overcome the generational patterns and trauma that may have been handed down through our family. I begin by emphasizing the significance of recognizing and breaking free from these patterns to provide our children with the emotional support and self-care that I might have lacked in our own upbringing.

I explain how our sense of self-esteem is deeply intertwined with our ability to engage in self-care. To prioritize self-care, we must first believe that I deserve it, a belief often influenced by our childhood experiences. I highlight the commonality of growing up in dysfunctional homes where children may have felt the need to bury their needs, feelings, and the need for love. This suppression can make it challenging to be vulnerable or even understand our own needs later in life.

I emphasize that healing and reparenting ourselves are essential because the patterns formed during our childhood have a lasting impact on our self-esteem and emotional well-being as an adult. These patterns can lead to behaviors like overeating, overdrinking, codependency, or overachievement as I seek external validation and love to fill the void created by unmet needs.

Reparenting ourselves elf is a challenging but transformative journey. Change is possible, but it requires self-compassion, recognizing unmet needs, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care. Seeking support is crucial, and healing from past wounds can lead to healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

Key Takeaways:

• Recognizing and breaking free from generational patterns and trauma is essential for personal growth.
• Childhood experiences significantly impact our self-esteem and emotional well-being as adults.
• Reparenting involves cultivating self-compassion, identifying unmet needs, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and seeking support.
• Change is possible, and healing from past wounds can lead to healthier relationships and personal growth.

 

Resources:

Dr. Cynthia Hauver's website: drcynthiah.com and you can find me on the socials @dr.cynthiahawver

Releasing Energy Vampires

Have you ever felt drained and exhausted after spending time with a certain person? In this episode, I discuss the concept of energy vampires. These toxic people can be friends, partners, or family. You’ll leave this episode knowing how to set boundaries with people who drain your vitality and enthusiasm for life.

This episode begins with defining the characteristics of toxic people. A toxic person has the tendency to take on a victim mentality, have traits of being self-centered, are filled with negativity (you can feel it), and they have a knack for making everything about themselves. Recognizing these traits within our inner-circles becomes crucial. Additionally, I shed light on the challenges of establishing boundaries with toxic family members, which has intricacies that can be challenging.

The conversation delves further into the repercussions of toxic relationships. I emphasize how energy vampires employ manipulation and drain our optimism, leading to guilt and ultimately affecting our mental and physical well-being. Furthermore, we delve into why individuals find it challenging to remove toxic individuals from their lives. This can be due to strong family loyalty, history, guilt, and fear. In a future episode I will discuss codependence and how this can relate to keeping energy vampires in your life.

The key takeaway from this episode centers on recognizing and addressing toxic relationships to safeguard our overall well-being. Although severing ties with toxic individuals might prove challenging, the long-term impact on our mental and physical health is profound. Prioritizing self-care and actively establishing boundaries can pave the way for positive transformations. And as I always say, life is too short not to be happy.

 

Key Takeaways:

• Energy vampires are individuals who deplete our energy and enthusiasm, leaving us drained.
• Recognizing toxic people is imperative due to their victim mindset, self-centeredness, and negativity.
• Effectively addressing toxic relationships is essential for our mental and physical well-being.
• Having a Toxic person in your life leads to burnout. They be the one making it hard to pull out of early burnout which can lead to 3^rd degree burnout.

 

Resources:

Take my free mama burnout quiz at www.mamaburnout.com and become part of my mama community. Once you’re on my list, you will receive valuable weekly content designed for moms over 40 and you’ll be in the know on how we can work together.

If you want to more about me, head on over to my website at www.drcynthiah.com  and you can find me on the socials @dr.cynthiahawver

Setting Boundaries

Have you ever found yourself constantly drained by toxic relationships and overwhelmed by obligations? What if I told you there's a powerful tool to change this cycle?

In this episode, I dive deep into the art of setting boundaries – a crucial skill that can transform your life. I share my insights as a certified coach, discussing why people often resist change and explaining the connection between boundaries and self-worth. I emphasize that we teach people how to treat us, and provide practical examples of how to communicate assertively, even in challenging situations. We explore the fear of disappointing others, the liberating power of saying "no," and the need to prioritize our own well-being.

The essence of setting boundaries lies in understanding that we can't change others, only ourselves. People tend to resist change unless forced by a significant event. We need to teach others how to treat us by modeling self-respect. Assertiveness, can often be mistaken for aggressiveness, which is actually not true. A crucial aspect is to consider both our rights and the other person's rights when being assertive. Setting boundaries isn't about being selfish; it's about preserving our energy and mental health. Practicing the art of saying "no" and evaluating requests that life places on us daily, can lead to life-changing transformations.

Boundaries are the essential foundation for balanced relationships and self-care. Learning to set boundaries involves becoming assertive and recognizing that disappointment from others is natural but manageable. The impact of setting boundaries can be profound, leading to healthier connections and a more fulfilling life.

Key Takeaways:

• Boundaries teach others how to treat us and are essential for self-care.
• Saying "no" with grace and love can be transformative.
• Prioritize your time, delegate, and stop overcommitting to prevent burnout.

Resources:

Take my free mama burnout quiz at www.mamaburnout.com and become part of my mama community. Once you’re on my list, you will receive valuable weekly content designed for moms over 40 and you’ll be in the know on how we can work together.

Mama Self-care

Have you ever wondered how you can truly take care of your kids while ensuring you
take care of yourself?

Hey there, it's Dr. Cynthia Hawver, and in this episode of the Mama Shrink Podcast,
we're diving deep into a topic close to my heart: self-care for moms. As a licensed
psychologist and certified coach, I've witnessed the struggles many moms face in
balancing their own needs with the demands of parenting. While I'm not a substitute for
mental health care, I'm here to discuss the importance of self-care and how it directly
impacts your role as a mother.

We kick off by exploring the guilt that often accompanies the idea of self-care. Contrary
to popular belief, prioritizing self-care isn't selfish; it's essential. I emphasize that
neglecting self-care can actually lead to feelings of emptiness and burnout, inadvertently making us less available to our loved ones.

During this episode, I tackle the issue of judgment and perfectionism. I share my
personal experiences as a people pleaser, highlighting the fear of what others might
think when we take time for ourselves. The truth is, it's okay to let go of these worries
and set a positive example for our children by demonstrating self-care.

We then delve into the challenge of finding time for self-care. I urge you to question the
belief that there's never enough time and to recognize that if something truly matters, we can make time for it. Remember, making time for self-care doesn't have to be
complicated – even a few minutes a day can make a significant difference.

The heart of this episode centers around the concept that self-care is a gift – a gift to
yourself, your family, and your children. The key takeaways are simple but profound: let
go of guilt and "shoulds," challenge the fear of judgment, release the pursuit of
perfection, and make even small moments of self-care a priority. By nurturing yourself,
you're setting the foundation for a healthier and happier life for both you and your loved ones.

 

Key Takeaways:

• Self-care is not selfish; it's necessary for effective parenting.
• Guilt, judgment, and perfectionism often hinder self-care efforts.
• Making time for yourself is a crucial aspect of maintaining well-being.
• Small acts of self-care can have a significant impact on mental health.
• Prioritizing self-care sets a positive example for your children.

 

Resources:

• Mama Shrink Podcast: Website
• Dr. Cynthia Haver's Website: http://www.drcynthiah.com
• Connect with Dr. Cynthia on Social Media: @dr.cynthiahawver
• National Suicide Crisis Line https://988lifeline.org/ - Call or text 988 if you're struggling with a mental health issue.

I’m Back!

Have you ever experienced a time when life's challenges piled up like a mountain, leaving you wondering how you'd ever find your way back to happiness?

In this episode, I'm sharing my personal journey through a tumultuous period that reshaped my entire life. As I reflect on my return to podcasting after a hiatus marked by unexpected events, I delve into the raw and unfiltered emotions I experienced during this time. From the onset of the COVID pandemic, which forced my psychology practice online, to the loss of my beloved rescue dog and, heartbreakingly, the passing of my mother and stepfather within months of each other, life threw its weight at me. I take you through my reactions, my responsibilities, and the toll it all took on my mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Amid the chaos, my initial optimism about navigating the pandemic transformed into a mental and emotional rollercoaster. The challenges of homeschooling, adapting my practice, and facing the reality of my own mortality after losing my mother to Covid lead to a total life makeover and taking big action. I share my experience with 3^rd degree burnout and how I am getting out. This episode also touches on the lasting impact Covid has taken on our children.

The loss of my mother hit me like a tidal wave. Despite the complicated relationship we shared, the shock of losing my mom was profound. And on top of this loss was the inability to grieve as I was thrust into the daily demands of caring for my step father, caring for my  young children, and running my psychology practice.

Through these trials, I've learned valuable lessons that I hope to share. Firstly, seeking therapy is essential, especially during times of grief and difficulty. Secondly, self-care is crucial, but there are moments when it may not be enough to combat burnout. Lastly, recognizing the need to address burnout and seek support is a powerful step towards recovery. The hard part is that burnout is hard to see while you are in it and that is where I come in. It took a life crisis of losing my mom to wake me up and start healing from the decade of burnout I had been living in.

 

Key Takeaways:

• Life's challenges can accumulate, leading to burnout and emotional strain.
• Grief and loss impact everyone differently, even in complex relationships.
• Balancing care for oneself, family, and work requires acknowledging personal limits and seeking help.
• Burnout is not easy to recognize and comes in three stages. Older moms starting a family are at higher risk due to being in a “sandwich situation.”

 

Resources:

• For skilled therapy during times of difficulty, consider seeking help from licensed professionals.
• If you want to see which stage of burnout you are in, take my free burnout quiz at www.mamaburnout.com